Jealousy is an ordinary feeling just like love, hatred and pride. However, its chemistry is different. This feeling hits your heart basically when you have something or someone you are afraid to lose. This is a good sign: you care about specific things or people in your life and will do whatever it takes to keep them safe, fine and…belonging to you. In the workplace for example, feeling jealous of a co-worker will hopefully push you to work harder, unless you have some evil inclinations inside you towards your co-worker. Follow these steps to free yourself from this gloomy feeling.
First and foremost, you have to pinpoint the source of this feeling. Where does it come from and why towards this specific person or thing? In relationships, you may interpret the actions of your partner in a wrong way that breeds this unhappy feeling inside you.
9 Give Vent
You are not recommended to let things burn inside, seek some vent instead. You can exercise or participate in different activities, so that the physical effort you do will free your mind to see things better. In addition, you can also talk to your partner about it in order to get things clear. But keep it to the minimum, however.
8 Open Up
Go out with your partner’s friends to see how things look like and how much they are close and behave. It would be hard for them to be reticent all the time. Still, you should not overreact to what might be a friendly talk, and remember that jealousy is always about the person who feels.
7 Do not blame
Whether you decided to discuss your feelings with your partner or not, do not ever blame him/her. To help yourself do this, remember to entirely exclude the sentences of “you did, said,…” from your dictionary while talking. Otherwise, things will start to crumble and you will gradually lose your partner.
6 Change your mindset
Any situation that causes jealousy could be seen from a different angle that breeds the opposite emotions. If it is all about people dedicating extra care to your partner; now this is a sign that you are a special person as well to your partner. In the end, he/she has chosen you and not those caregivers, so to speak.
5 Walk in their shoes
When you put yourself in place of your partner, you might excuse him\her for his\her reactions or even find yourself doing the same things s\he does. In addition, try to listen to your own words said to your partner the same number of times you do to your partner and record your feelings! You may also find yourself doing the same things your partner does to find that you are the only one to be responsible for all what is happening.
4 Look for the basis
Most of the time, jealousy is based on flimsy grounds or is groundless in fact. Check your incentives and motives and see how your imagination is the sole agent behind the burning of heart and lump of anxiety that is turning on and off. Most probably, your mind is the cause.
Try to form a pattern for the situations when your mind gives you a red herring so that you do not give much time to them and do not allow them to ruin your relationships. For example, your partner could be a sociable person who openly talks to others whoever they may be, put this in your mind the next time you judge.
In case you talked about it with your partner and in case you made the blaming mistake, do not let things pile up. Apologize and try to quickly convince him/her of the hard time you had because of the jealousy issue and how his/her existence is important to you.
Put all the previous steps into action and take control of this unruly self of yours. When the jealousy ideas start to play around, shut them down with more positive ideas.