The problem of disrespect has been discovered to affect most marriages most negatively over the years. As a married person, there are lots of reasons to be worried. The major challenge is that most couples can’t even tell when such an issue begins to surface in their marriages. There is no need to panic, though as this post will be explaining everything about disrespect. Before checking out the details about disrespect in marriages below, ensure to click here for immediate solutions to your marital challenges. You will have the chance to learn more about how to have a blissful marriage.
Causes of disrespect in a marriage
1 Ignoring your partner
This is one of the major reasons why people get disrespected in their marriages. Do you always attend to the needs of your partner regularly? Such can be emotional, sexual, psychological, or financial needs. Most married people assume that the only thing bothering their partner is sex or financial challenges. Failure to address other needs can lead to disrespect. It is especially common for men always to ignore their partners. They make wrong assumptions about the needs of their wives which isn’t the best. It doesn’t really matter how busy you as your partner will get frustrated once his or her needs aren’t met.
Most married people have this wrong belief that although honesty is the best policy, there is always a price to pay for being honest. This is an assumption that can only bring about a lack of respect from your partner. Also, don’t forget that you may even pay a bigger price for being dishonest to your partner in the long run. Never build your marriage on lies. Don’t ever think that your partner is dumb enough to accept those fabricated stories. This is because such an action will only bring about disrespect in marriage. It is only natural that your partner will respect you for being open and straight forward.
3 Being selfish
Are you the selfish type of person who is always thinking about himself? Do you know that marriage is a union of two people? Trying to do something contrary can lead to being disrespected by your partner. There are people who see the need to get close to their partners only during sex time. Falling into such a category means you should be prepared to be disrespected. It could be that you don’t spend enough time as expected with your partner. It doesn’t really matter what reasons you are putting forward to justify such actions as you won’t earn the respect of your partner. Selfishness can destroy any relationship or marriage faster than expected.
4 Too many criticism
It is true that you will have to condemn the actions of your partner at some point. However, such shouldn’t be on a regular basis. There are people who have formed the habit of sneering at the efforts of their partners. They don’t see anything good in whatever such a person does. Criticizing your partner should be done constructively in to avoid any form of disrespect from him or her. You may only be inviting problems by trying to investigate everything that is happening around the home and being constantly picky. It is all about offering such a person the needed freedom.
5 Never apologizing
Your inability to use the “magic five letter word” can have some implications and disrespect happens to be one of them. Are you the type that doesn’t know how to apologize whenever you don’t do the right thing? Do you know that apologizing can help your partner respect you the more? Most people are too proud to apologize to their partners. They are prepared to bring up different excuses to protect their egos. This is only a move or decision that will make your partner develop feelings of hate for everything you are doing. It is the origin of disrespect.
6 Making your partner feel insecure
You must ensure your partner is a better person. In other words, you aren’t married to him or her to bring about insecure feelings. For instance, some men look at other women in a lustful manner even when their wives are with them. As you keep on doing this, that is how you will earn less respect from your wife. There are also women who try to make their husbands feel insecure in public. This is only a recipe for being disrespected. The bottom line is that anytime your partner begins to lose confidence in what you claim to represent, disrespect will follow.
7 Excessive quarrelling and fighting
Apologizing can indeed heal every emotional wound after quarreling or fight with your partner. However, this isn’t true in every case as there will always be an emotional scar. It means your partner may not forget such incidents easily. Most families are breaking up because of too many fights and quarrels. Couples don’t know when to make peace. Some can’t even understand how to resolve issues amicably. You will lose the respect of your partner by being constantly violent and aggressive towards every issue.
Signs of disrespect in a marriage
1 Failure to acknowledge accomplishments
This is probably one of the major signs of disrespect in marriage today. Have you ever achieved something incredible only to be ignored by your partner? It is a sign that such a person doesn’t respect you in any way. Such achievements/accomplishments are supposed to be a stepping stone to something greater. Therefore, you deserve to be respected by your partner. It could be that your partner is being jealous of your success or even doing such deliberately just to make you feel bad. Whatever the reason may be, your partner doesn’t show respect whenever he or she fails to acknowledge your accomplishments.
2 Talking to you derogatively
Most couples are trying to make others believe their partners are the best in the world. However, this isn’t true in the real sense as their partner talks to them in the most derogative manner in private places. Being disrespected doesn’t mean such needs to happen in a public place. Your partner can still talk to you in a rude way, even in the house. This is a sign of disrespect, and there is no justification for such. Even if you have done something wrong, using a constructive approach wouldn’t have been a bad idea.
3 They are being secretive to you
This requires that you are very observant to know when your partner is being disrespectful. Have you ever found out that your partner’s friends know more about him or her as compared to what you know? It is a sign that your partner doesn’t trust and respect you. In other words, he feels much safer revealing secrets to others than you. Your partner at such point, may not be bold enough to say such in your face. But the message being passed across is that you aren’t intelligent enough to handle such secrets. It is a sign of disrespect and shouldn’t be taken for granted.
4 Failure to introduce you
When it comes to being married, most people could have some ulterior motives which you won’t know unless being able to read in-between the lines. For instance, your partner can disrespect you by failing to introduce you to his or her friends. It is a sign that you aren’t good enough to be shown in public. Although there could be other justifiable reasons for such action, it shouldn’t be happening over and over again. Once it doesn’t, know that you haven’t earned the respect of your partner. It could be that your partner has only decided to marry you for sex and children.
5 Being selfish
A selfish partner doesn’t know how to respect his wife or husband. This is because he is always thinking about himself or herself. Selfish people can be very annoying, given that they are always after what they can benefit. Marriage isn’t just all about having sex and raising children. Rather, it is about being able to make some sacrifices for your partner. If you only come to the mind of your partner for the purpose of sex, there is a problem. This is because it is a sign that you aren’t being respected.
6 Making jest of you
When your partner is always making jest of you in front of others, such as a sign of disrespect. If there is one person who is supposed to hold you in high esteem, such should be your partner. When you are turned into a subject of mockery in public places, it means you haven’t earned his or her respect in any way. It hurts to find your partner cracking jokes about how you speak, sleep, eat, or even walk.
7 Always complaining
Although most people see excessive complaining amongst couples as a healthy way to express their feelings, it is a red flag. Once your partner begins to complain about everything you do, it is a clear sign that you are no longer respected. It shows that he or she doesn’t believe in you. A problem like this can bring about low self-esteem in public places.
Effects of disrespect in a marriage
1 Diminishing love
This is probably the first effect that disrespect leads to in a marriage. It is only natural that the love your partner has towards you will be diminishing with time once he feels disrespected for any reason. This is one of the issues that has led to most people treating their partners with disdain. There are instances when such a lack of love has been extended to the children. If your partner begins to notice any form of disrespect, his love for you will start reducing with time. The reason for this is that it is psychological since he will begin to focus on your weaknesses rather than strength.
2 Excessive criticisms
When a couple doesn’t have respect for each other, there is the problem of both parties criticizing themselves both in public and private. The truth about criticism is that it has never helped any relationship/marriage to grow beyond its present state. Rather, it will create problems that will be complicated to handle. Disrespect makes couples to criticize themselves too often even when such isn’t necessary. When you respect your partner, you wouldn’t want to condemn his actions, especially in public. A problem like this can only bring about further complications.
3 Zero personal responsibility
When couples begin to disrespect themselves, there is every chance of each party refusing to accept his roles and responsibility. For instance, there might be an agreement between both parties about who takes the kids to school and bring them back during certain days of the week. Once your partner begins to feel disrespected, he can decide to neglect such duty intentionally which may not be good. As a matter of fact, disrespect can bring about a situation where both parties won’t pay attention to how the family can grow in the long run. According to experts, couples can become selfish.
4 It can affect the children
An act of disrespect isn’t something you would want your kids to start learning. Most parents have been discovered to neglect the fact that such negative behavior, especially in front of the children, can make them have a wrong perception about life and marriage. There are guys who don’t like the idea of getting married simply because they never liked or supported the way their mothers treated their fathers or vice versa. Therefore, the disrespect has been known to affect on children development negatively by the time.
5 Ignoring the needs of your spouse
Disrespect can create an atmosphere whereby both parties won’t care about meeting each other’s needs. These could be financial, emotional, physical, or even psychological. It makes your partner finding it hard to express himself to you. This is because there is always this doubt about whether he will be scolded or not. Disrespect, in a nutshell, doesn’t create the right atmosphere where couples can express themselves freely. Have you ever noticed a situation whereby your partner goes out to seek attention from someone else? The reason is that his needs have been ignored in the home due to disrespect.
6 Low self-esteem
Humans have been discovered to perform better when they are given their due respect and recognition. This is why a lack of respect can make your partner develop low self-esteem. It is only a matter of time before such will start reflecting on how he or she relates to others outside the home. It is always very disappointing to see that others are performing better than your partner. However, you need to find out where you have bruised his or her ego in the past. It could be attempting to condemn his actions.
This is the final nail on the coffin when it comes to couples disrespecting each other. Marriage is all about looking for ways that will make your partner better. The act of disrespect isn’t included in any way. Most of the divorce cases in a country such as the US are due to people lacking respect for their partners.
Solutions to the disrespect problem in marriages
After talking about the causes, signs, and effects of disrespect in marriages, it is important to discuss how such an issue can be tackled to ensure blissful marriages. Below are some of the solutions:
1 Focus on your partner’s strength
Try to understand the fact that people have weaknesses. In other words, there is nobody perfect on the surface of the earth. This is why you have to focus on the strength of your partner instead of his or her weakness.
2 The appreciation strategy
This is all about motivating your partner to keep on doing the right thing. Always shower praises on him or her both in private and public places. Even when he or she made a mistake, try to criticize constructively.
3 Be open
If you ever feel offended by the actions of your partner, don’t hide such feelings. This can only make you start disrespecting him or her. Instead, open upon how you are feeling hurt by such actions.
4 Making assumptions
Be affirmative in your thoughts instead of assuming since such could be wrong. It has been discovered people disrespect their partners, especially when the latter falls short of the former’s needs. If you feel like having sex, then let your partner know instead pouring out your frustration on him or her for not understanding your moves.
5 Meeting a marriage counsellor
The benefits of meeting a marriage counsellor can hardly be overemphasized. These professionals exist to help ensure your marriage is colorful. Through the professional advice they will offer, you will understand the most effective ways of dealing with your partner.
6 Always think before speaking
Most people don’t think about the implications of their statements. Making rash statements will only end up harming your partner’s feelings. Therefore, always consider whatever you plan to tell him or her.
7 Learning to apologize
Any marriage where couples don’t know how to apologize will hardly succeed/grow. Apologies are a way of telling your partner that you love and appreciate him or her. They are a sign of respect that couples use to grow their marriages in the long run.